It has been 6 years... 6 years( or is it five) since our journey... I struggle to post because people see it as over. It is not over. Madi is 16 and I no longer feel comfortable sharing because it is her story now. But it has been hard and the struggle with cancer did not end at NED. (No Evidence of Disease). It has been hard and sad and hard. My girls life and the path is was suppose to take changed forever. I no longer know if it was the cancer or adolescence that has caused struggle. I feel like I have failed, and succeeded in the same moment. I tried not to make cancer define her and yet, there is so much of it that did. I miss the Madi I knew and also love the Madi I have. We two, we are a team... but at what cost? Am I helping or enabling? Am I being supportive or enabling? Am I doing the right thing? Every day is a struggle. She is beautiful inside and out, she shines and doesn't even see it, she is so strong and yet she sees herself as weak. My heart hurts. I love my Madi and I wish nothing other than that she can see herself through others eyes. She is working on that... she is working harder than anyone I know, but ...
As a Mom it is a daily struggle to know you cannot fix it.. My girls are my world.. My prayer today.. Please Give me strength.. I feel so lost and hopeless.
As a Mom it is a daily struggle to know you cannot fix it.. My girls are my world.. My prayer today.. Please Give me strength.. I feel so lost and hopeless.